The marriage bed is undefiled. Those of us who are in the church is to be undefiled [SOS 5:2; 2 Cor 11:2]. But notice these instances of people being defiled. We can tell what undefiled is by studying what defiles a person. We learn how to keep the marriage bed undefiled by studying what defiles it. These things will defile the marriage bed:
Pre-marital sex – Gen 34:2, 2, 5, 13 Dinah was defiled when Shechem slept with her. 1 Cor 7:1-2 the way to avoid fornication is for a man not to touch a woman. If a man joins himself to a woman he becomes one flesh with her [1 Cor 6:15-16]. Rev 14:4 the 144,000 were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. Pre-marital sex defiles the marriage bed.
Incest – 2 Samuel 13:10-15 – Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.” So Tamar took his favorite dish to him. 11 But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.”
12 “No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. 13 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.”
14 But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. 15 Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her.
Adultery – Lev 18:20; Num 5:20 – We see this in the New Testament – Rom 7:2-3 – or the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.
Same-sex marriage (homosexuality) – Lev 18:22-24 (includes bestiality – Lev 18:23). This defiles the nation (Lev 18:24), the land (Lev 18:25, 27 pollution), and the people (Lev 18:30). Rom 1:25-28, 31 shows you that the Lord’s attitude toward same-sex relations has not changed in the New Testament. Those who commit such things are still worthy of death just like in the Old Testament (Lev 20:13), as are those who fornicate and commit adultery. See also 1 Tim 1:10 for those who defile themselves with mankind.
Evil thoughts – Matt 15:18-20 – Matt 5:28 even the thought of adultery or fornication is defiling. Thus includes pornography (filthy dreamers Jude 1: 7-8). 7 as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities around them in a similar manner to these, having given themselves over to sexual immorality and gone after strange flesh, are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.8 Likewise also these dreamers defile the flesh, reject authority, and speak evil of dignitaries.
All these things that are acceptable or even legal in society and all of these things that are practiced, though illegal, and all these things promoted by organizations and Hollywood defile and, therefore, defile the marriage bed.
The trouble now is that the mind and conscience are defiled (Titus 1:15). In other words, some of us have already been through some of these things and now we may not see anything wrong with them in others or in our children. We may even allow some of this. We cannot succumb to the pressures of the world to give in to these sins. They defile and we must protect our homes and our church from defilement.
Conclusion: May God applies the message to each heart as He wills. May He impel His holy people to seek purity in all things, especially in marriage. May He encourage each individual who names His Name to take to heart the Word that teaches, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4). Amen.