“THEY WALK AMONG US”

“THEY WALK AMONG US”
…From Buff Scott, Jr.

The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an “intellectually challenged” co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?” She’s a government employee.

“THEY WALK AMONG US”
When I arrived at a car dealership to pick up my car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it’s open!” His reply, “I know. I already did that side.”

“THEY WALK AMONG US”
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”

ADVANTAGE IN GETTING OLDER
You’re allowed to take a nap to get ready for bed.

ADVANTAGE IN GETTING OLDER
Your clothes have come back in style—twice.

“I wiped my TV screen with anti-virus wipes.
I lost CBS News, ABC News, NBC News,
MSNBC, and CNN.”

A NEAT GATE SIGN
“Is there life after death?
Trespass and find out.”

They Walk Among Us……

What Is Your Pastor’s MSR?

Church Humor

 

Last week in this newsletter I wrote about how my dad, a pastor, performed a lot of wedding ceremonies. I wrote about how strange it sounded when he talked about all the people he had “married” that wasn’t my mom.

Well, my mind must have been circling around the topic of pastors and weddings, because this week I had a brilliant idea.

Why don’t pastors publicize the success rates of the marriages they perform?

It would be like a batting average. Just like no baseball player bats a thousand, no pastor is going to have every couple they marry stay together forever. But say you’re looking to get married and two pastors are offering their services. One has an MSR (Marriage Success Rate) of 70% and the other pastor is clocking in at only 55%. Who are you going with? That’s right—the winner.

It could be like Moneyball, but for ministers. Sure, your pastor might preach a good sermon, look good in a suit, and always remember the bride’s name. But at the end of the day, if his MSR is a measly 38%, fiancés in your church need to find someone else.

It’s all about the numbers.

Drew Dyck Drew Dyck

Contributing Editor